


Santa Baby

by zebraljb



Series: Mantle of Gifts 2019 [3]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Meet-Cute, Mistake, singing telegram
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 02:10:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21920122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: IT professional Merlin is not in the mood for Christmas or anything else...until a vision in red knocks on his door.
Relationships: Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Series: Mantle of Gifts 2019 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1567597
Comments: 12
Kudos: 114
Collections: 2019 Kingsman Stocking Stuffers





	Santa Baby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sway](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sway/gifts).



> For my lovely friend Sway, who asked for a "Santa for Hire." Not QUITE what you were imagining, I'm sure, but I hope you like it!!

“Bloody hell.”

Merlin shoves himself against the door of his flat, turning the knob and pressing with all of his might. He’s called the superintendent three times and the door still sticks. He puts his shoulder into it and almost falls into his flat when the door suddenly flies open.

He gives the offending door an evil glare before slamming it shut. At least it slams well…it just never wants to open. He tosses his keys into the bowl on the table, throws his coat in the direction of a chair, and practically stumbles to his sofa. He groans as he throws his arm up over his eyes. There are certain days he wishes he’d stayed in the military, and this was one of them. Come work for my tailor shop, Harry said. It will be calm and dull. Boring. Nothing will happen. No guns, no knives, no war. True, none of that…but instead he has shears and needles and angry tailors who think it’s HIS fault the shop is busy. He’d only come up with the new webpage design, suggested some discreet advertising, and now they’re busy. It’s the week before Christmas, for God’s sake. Of course they’re busy.

Not that Merlin himself cares about Christmas. Each year he buys himself a nice bottle of scotch and puts Harry’s name on it, and Harry buys a nice bottle of whisky and puts Merlin’s name on it. Christmas. Done. He gets the mandatory greeting cards from relatives but doesn’t respond. Christmas is simply exhausting. He has more important things to worry about…like what to have for dinner.

He changes out of his dress trousers and jumper into a more comfortable pair of jeans and an Arsenal vest. He then goes into his kitchen and pokes about a bit, finally coming up with enough ingredients to make cheese toasties. He pours himself a beer, settles in on the sofa in front the telly, an gets two bites into his sandwich when someone knocks at the door. What the hell?

“What the hell?” Merlin mumbles out loud. He doesn’t get visitors. They’ll go away. He takes another bite when he hears another knock. “Fuck.” He stands up, toastie in hand, and heads for the door. He unlocks the door, pulls and tugs with his free hand, and finally gets it open. What he sees on the other side almost makes him drop his dinner.

Thighs. Well, more than thighs, but that’s definitely the first thing he notices. Beautiful thick thighs covered in a light dusting of hair. Merlin yanks his eyes up to focus on the face of the Owner of the Beautiful Thighs. A young man, mid-twenties, perhaps, with a dangerously sharp jaw, lovely green eyes, and pink lips currently pulled into a cheeky smirk. Sandy brown hair under a Santa hat, an interesting mole on his throat. A bare chest…bare chest? Merlin realizes the young man is clad only in black boots, a pair of the shortest Christmas shorts known to man, and a furry red and white coat with no buttons or zip. It just hangs there, framing a titillating hint of beautiful pecs and a bit of a happy trail. And the shorts are tight, gloriously so. So tight Merlin definitely knows to which side the lad dresses.

“Oi, you gonna invite a bloke in? Freezing my arse off out here.” Merlin mutely steps aside. “Thanks.” 

“Can I…can I help you?”

“Nope! It’s me here to do something for YOU!” The boy says cheerfully and Merlin is horrified. Did…did Harry send him a rentboy? He wouldn’t put it past his devious best friend, but this is a bit much even for Harry. “Gonna do it right here if that’s all right with you. Close the door though…you’re letting in a draft.”

“Right,” Merlin says dazedly. He closes the door and wonders if he could possibly lean the boy against it while he fucks him. Merlin shakes his head. He is NOT fucking him.

“Okay…so here goes.” The boy hums a bit, winks at Merlin, and slowly pulls a hand down his chest to rest on a hip. Merlin can’t help it. His eyes rest on the bulge between the lad’s legs, the surrounding beauty of his thighs. The boy clears his throat.

“I’m sorry.” Merlin quickly looks up.

“Used to it.” The young man shrugs. “Santa baby…slip a sable under the tree…been an awful good girl…” Another wink. “Santa baby…and hurry down the chimney tonight.” The boy’s voice is lovely, clear and strong even singing such a cliché song. “Santa baby, a fifty-four convertible too, light blue…I’ll wait up for you dear, Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.” The boy actually shimmies and Merlin’s trousers start growing tight. “Think of all the fun I’ve missed…think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed…” A pink tongue slides out to lick those pink lips and Merlin has to lean back against the door. “Next year I could be oh so good, if you’d check off my Christmas list…Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing…a ring…and I don’t mean on the phone…Santa baby, hurry down my chimney tonight.” The boy shimmies again, does some sort of illegal-as-fuck body roll, and then bounces over to Merlin. “Happy Christmas!” He plants a kiss right on Merlin’s mouth. He pulls away and grins, licking his lips again. “Mmm…cheese toasties for dinner?”

“Oh, Harry, ye have outdone yourself this time,” Merlin murmurs. “I cannae possibly top this gift.”

“Harry? No, bruv, ain’t Harry who sent it to you. It’s…” The young man whips off his hat and pulls a card from the lining. “To Pamela from Janet…happy Christmas, girlfriend…” The boy looks lost as he gives Merlin the once over. “I ain’t no one to judge, but you don’t really look like a Pamela, mate. Maybe a Molly…Constance?”

“There’s no one here called Pamela,” Merlin says, feeling his face grow red. “There’s been a mistake.”

“No, there ain’t no mistake. Flat number six-oh-four.”

“This is five-oh-four, lad.”

The young man looks horrified. “Oh, fuck ME.” Merlin bites back the urge to definitely accept the offer. “I’m so sorry, bruv. So fucking sorry.”

“It’s quite all right,” Merlin says kindly, but the boy backs away, looking incredibly nervous. 

“Just don’t…it was an honest mistake…guess I should learn to read. Course a fit bloke like you ain’t called Pamela.” The boy smiles weakly and Merlin realizes he’s scared. Worried that Merlin might hit him or even worse. He understands. As open as the world is slowly becoming when faced with homosexual relationships, that sentiment hasn’t reached quite everyone yet. 

“Relax, young man, it’s fine. Trust me when I tell you that a kiss from someone like you is the best thing that’s happened to me all year,” Merlin says honestly.

The boy gives him a shy grin. “Well…you’re welcome, then. Free performance and all that.”

“Thank YOU.”

The boy tugs at the door and Merlin gently reaches around him to yank it open. “Guess I better go find Pamela, then…Happy Christmas.”

“To you as well,” Merlin says. He watches the tantalizing arse and thighs walk down the hall and closes the door, a small smile on his face. Happy Christmas, indeed.

Merlin stares at the woman behind the counter. “But ye always have blueberry scones!”

“Not today, Mr. McNair.” She smiles regretfully. “We have apple.”

“I dinnae want apple.” Merlin is dangerously close to pouting and he doesn’t care. He’s not due at the shop until half-nine, and all he wants is a cup of tea and a fresh blueberry scone.

“I’m terribly sorry. That young man over there stole the last blueberry not five minutes ago,” she says, nodding to a table in the corner. 

Merlin glances over and his heart stops. It cannot be. The thighs and arse are properly covered, and there’s a shirt with buttons this time, but it is most definitely his surprise Santa. “I’ll take the apple,” Merlin says faintly. He hands over far too much money and doesn’t wait for the change. He slowly approaches the boy, wondering what in the world he’s planning on doing once he reaches him. The boy is thumbing through a textbook and making notes. “So…I hope ye finally found Pamela and gave her the message from Janet.”

The boy looks up and does a double-take. “You!” He breathes, sitting up straight and almost knocking his cup over. “Yeah, I found her…she was right appreciative, too.”

Merlin looks at the boy’s plate. “Ye got the last blueberry scone. They are my favorite.”

“Mine, too.” He closes his book and sets it aside. “Wanna sit?”

“Thank ye.” Merlin sits down. “I’m Merlin. Well, Hamish, really…but I go by Merlin.” He holds out his hand.

The young man brushes off his hands and shakes Merlin’s. “Eggsy. Well, Gary, really…but I go by Eggsy.”

Merlin smiles. “I’d love to hear the story behind that.”

“I’d love to hear why you’re named after a wizard.” Eggsy picks up his scone. “Here.” He breaks it in half and holds it out.

“Nae, lad, I couldn’t possibly…”

“Please. Food always tastes better when you share it. At least that’s what I’m trying to teach my little sis.”

“Thank you.” Merlin nods his thanks and wraps up his apple scone for later. “Quite a coincidence running into ye here…I come here all the time.”

“So do I…it’s on my way to school.” Eggsy pats his book. “Doing some extra reading and I just always concentrate better here, even when I don’t have class.”

“What are ye studying?”

“Education…wanna teach little ones, like Kindergarten or first year. My little flower, Daisy, she’s four and I love working with her.”

“Ye still live at home, then?”

“Yeah.” Eggsy blushes. “My stepdad…he was a bit of a bastard. Mum finally got herself well rid of him, but she only works at a café. I can at least help pay the rent.”

“By singing.”

“By singing.” Eggsy blushes again. “Know it probably seems like a pretty shite job to you, but it’s easy and the money’s pretty good. Plus it’s nice putting a smile on someone’s face, surprising them with something unexpected.”

“If ye enjoy it, lad, that’s all that matters. You’re right, making someone smile is payment in and of itself. And ye have a lovely voice.”

“Thanks,” Eggsy says, looking down at his scone.

“My job does nae bring a smile to anyone’s face, I’m afraid. I do computer work for a tailor shop on Saville Row. A bunch of grumpy tailors, and I’m their grumpy IT nerd.”

“You sure don’t look like a nerd to me,” Eggsy says almost shyly, and it’s Merlin’s turn to blush.

Merlin tries to figure out what to say or do next. The boy is beautiful, simply gorgeous…too perfect for the likes of him. “I…ye put a smile on my face, that’s for sure,” he says finally. “An attractive young man showing up at my door to serenade me and give me a kiss? Definitely an unexpected surprise.”

“I’m glad,” Eggsy says. He clears his throat and plays with his napkin. “Pretty sure your boyfriend weren’t too happy about it, though, right?”

“Boyfriend?” Merlin blinks at him. 

“Yeah. You mentioned him. Harry. You said ‘Oh, Harry, ye have outdone yourself this time.’ So he probably wouldn’t like some strange bloke planting one on ya.”

“I don’t care WHAT Harry thinks about someone kissing me,” Merlin blurts out. “Because he is nae my boyfriend. Simply my best friend. I…I don’t…no boyfriend.”

Eggsy actually looks pleased by this information. “Find that hard to believe. If you do computers, you’re smart, and you’re well fit.”

“Oh, I…well…thank you.” Merlin feels the top of his head turn red. He takes a deep breath. “I know I’m quite a bit older than you, Eggsy, and I’m probably an idiot for asking, but would ye…”

“Yes,” Eggsy interrupts, bouncing a bit in his chair. “Yes I will.”

“Will what?” Merlin cannot believe what’s happening.

“Yes, I’ll go on a date with you.” Eggsy suddenly looks horrified. “That…that’s what you was gonna ask, right?”

“Yes, it was.”

A beautiful smile blooms over Eggsy’s face. He hands over his phone. “Put your number in, yeah? I’m done with school for the term, but I got a lot of jobs lined up over the next week…but I’m free this Sunday?”

“Sunday is perfect. Perhaps we could go for brunch, and then see where the day takes us?”

“That sounds aces,” Eggsy says with a grin. Merlin enters his number into Eggsy’s phone and hands it back. Eggsy taps at it a bit and Merlin’s pocket buzzes. “There ya go. Got my number.”

“I do.” Merlin checks the time. “I would love to stay here and chat with ye, lad, but I must get to work.”

“I understand. If ya got free time, maybe…maybe you could text me. If you wanted, like if you were bored.”

“I will text ye, Eggsy, and not because I’m bored.” Merlin stands and Eggsy stands with him. He hesitates, and then gives Merlin a brief hug. Merlin inhales the scent of his aftershave and actually sighs. “We will talk, but I will see ye Sunday.”

“I can’t wait,” Eggsy says. “Have a good day, Merlin.”

“You as well.” Merlin gathers his things, gives Eggsy one more smile, and heads off to work. 

Christmas is the most amazing time of year, if you really think about it.


End file.
